The Hard Rules of Civil Discourse
1.
Begin by assuming that about something you believe
most intently it is at least theoretically possible you are completely wrong.
2.
Begin by assuming that those who disagree with
you are not crazy, stupid or evil.
3.
Do not accuse those whom you disagree with of
being crazy, stupid or evil. All discussion stops at that point.
4.
Accept your opponent as a fellow citizen and
patriot.
5.
Try to go to where your opponent is to understand
their thinking and feeling. Do not fake this by false feeling and straw man
thinking.
6.
Study your own position for its logical
fallacies and emotional blind spots. Do not fake this by false feeling and self-confirming
thinking.
7.
Be aware of confirmation bias, our tendency to
reject evidence that we don’t like and accept blindly as evidence what confirms
our thinking.
8.
Ask your opponent to guide you through their thought
process so you can understand where they are.
9.
Repeat in your own words what your opponent
believes until they agree you understand.
10. Now
guide your opponent through your though process to show how you got where you
are.
11. Present
your opponent with flaws in their thinking and data and listen to their criticisms
of yours.
12. Do
not yell, name call, use innuendo, or otherwise slander your opponent.
13. If
your opponent name calls, uses innuendo, or slanders you, call them on it. If
they continue, walk away from what is not civil discourse.
14. Do
not make threats as this can only poison the discourse and may even lead to
violence.
15. Accept
that at the end of civil discourse, you may not have persuaded your opponent.
If all that results is better mutual understanding, civil discourse has still
proved useful.
